Tuesday, June 23, 2015
6/23/2015 03:41:00 AM
How time flies. I have read all of my blog posts since 2004. All my writings in 10 years...how i wish I can put them as a diary..and I will love to cherish them in rooms. .when I'm old..I will take it out to read..and reminisce what I did, dreamt and pray and wish for. Those were my yesteryear. Suddenly now I felt myself in tears. It is like 10 yrs...so much time..but I don't see myself getting what I wanted. I need to work harder. I read every promise I said to myself and those pictures I thought I will never see them again. Now I have..I will not look back..today is the day I reborn as the hunger for money hunger for shape and the hunger queen will comeback in a way you can't imagine...I can't describe what kind of relationship we have..It just seems so weird and screwed up. It is like a forbidden chain of yesteryear feelings. I can't even trust him with his words but I know...its gone. We couldn't never ever go back the same way. 10 years has taken its toil on this..even god can't reverse it. Sometimes I feel I'm like a total bitch. Feeling Karma has got him right when it hurts the most for him. And secretly teasing or jokes with it. But I know a very very special place in my heart will always belong to him..and no matter how far we have drifted..He sure know how to cheer me up or even make me smile when I'm actually angry..so far he has only been the one who could do for me...or maybe I should leave the option open ever since muscle man left. Ah muscleman was such great influence I forgot. A very very special someone too but I failed to charm him over...now everyday I snoop Facebook..its all him...I should stop lamenting how I lost love. Love will find me once again knowing I have walked down 10 years of heartbroken & fearful nights.
~ let it be! i need a breather anyway.
